15 reasons to remember Shaq

How will we remember Shaquille O’Neal? As a bigger-than-life force that may have left a little diesel in the tank, but never failed to deliver a laugh or two. Here are 15—one for each all-star selection—reasons/moments that will make the big fella a hard one to forget.

1)    Shaqploitation: Do you remember Shaq’s Burger King commercial? You know, the one where he throws down a one-handed jam while wearing a Shaft-esque trench coat. Only Shaq could pull that off. “He’s the man who can jam over any man…SHAQ!” Can you dig it? I knew that you could.

2)    Shaq’s Godfather Analogy: After arriving to Miami, Shaq described his relationship with the three star guards he had teamed up with. “The difference between those three is the Godfather trilogy. One is Fredo (Penny Hardaway), who was never ready for me to hand it over to him. One is Sonny (Kobe), who will do whatever it takes to be the man, and one is Michael, who if you watch the trilogy, the Godfather hands it over to Michael. So I have no problem handing it over to Dwyane.” No one goes to Vegas and messes with Shaquille.

3)    Kazam: I can’t decide if this is something to remember or forget. Shaq doubling as a rapping genie. It must have been 1995

4)    Shaq in Black: Shaq’s arrival to Biscayne Bay. O’Neal hopped out of the back of a tractor trailer that was appropriately labeled “Diesel Power.” On his way up the podium, with a water gun in hand, Shaq showered Heat fans that had been waiting in the July sun. The man made an entrance.

5)    Nicknames: Shaq. Wilt Chambernezy. Diesel. Superman. Shaq Fu. M.D.E (Most Dominant Ever). The Big Aristotle. The Big Deporter. Shaqtus. The big fella is the only athlete that should ever have license to come up with a nickname.

6)    Rapping: Shaq, true to form, loved to drop a few lines. “Hey, Kobe, how does my ass taste?” Priceless.

7)    Breaking Backboards: Some probably forget that Shaq used to be a (relatively) skinny kid. When he played for Orlando, he was a true force-of-nature. The man even forced the NBA to put up better supports for the baskets. The one he took down at the Meadowlands Arena caused a long delay.

8)    Burning Bridges: Unfortunately, O’Neal tended to go out swinging when he left town. He ditched Orlando for Hollywood and took some shots at Penny on the way out. The Lakers chose Kobe, so Shaq fired shots towards Los Angeles. When things turned sour in Miami, he nailed everyone from Chris Quinn and Ricky Davis to Pat Riley and Wade. He even stole a reality TV show from Steve Nash when he was bolting Phoenix. In his prime, Shaq said he didn’t want to turn into a ring-chasing vagabond, but that’s exactly what he became.

9)    The Sacramento Queens: An all-timer from the Diesel. When referring to the possible threat from the rival Kings, Shaq said, “We're not worried about the Sacramento Queens. Not at all. I'm not gonna be doing this all year, going back and forth with them. Nobody cares that we won last year, this is a new year, so we just need to focus on a new year. Like I said, I'm not worried about the Sacramento Queens. Write it down, take a picture, send it to them. I don't care."

10)    The alley-oop: The Lakers capped off an impressive, 15-point comeback with a sweet alley-oop from Kobe to Shaq. It’s a moment that will live on through forever.

11)    Sheriff Shaq: While he wasn’t policing the basketball court, Shaq liked to fight crime off of it. Hopefully he didn’t plan on patrolling the streets. Couldn’t you see some guy just blow past Shaq with some old lady’s purse?

12)    Bye, Stan: The seminal “Godfather” moment of Shaq’s career. Unhappy with the man he later referred to as “The Master of Panic,” Shaq had Van Gundy “whacked.” Popular narrative has Riley looking like the bad guy, but this one was on Shaq.

13)    Rings!: Shaq won four of them. At the peak of his powers, he was an unstoppable force and has the hardware to prove it.

14)    Shaq Claus: For all of his perceived faults, Shaq was a big kid at heart. At Christmas, he always wore a Santa Claus hat and passed out gifts to kids. I’ll always respect Shaq’s goodwill.

15)    L.S.U.: When he eventually graduated from LSU, Shaq dubbed the school “Love Shaq University.” For most, it was the first place we got to see a young O’Neal throw down dunks and grab rebounds.

It certainly wasn’t the last time we saw him. For all of his immense talent, I will remember Shaq the most for his humor. He was one-of-a-kind on and off the court. Thanks for the good times, big fella.

For Dirk, the heat is on

We're going to mix it up here a little bit. I wrote a column about Dirk Nowitzki's legacy that was posted on the IU Sport Com website. Instead of just copying and pasting it here, I added the link below

Check it out:  http://iusportcom.com/prosports/basketball/for-dirk-the-heat-is-on/

Pippen’s MJ/LeBron comments are hardly surprising

Scottie Pippen broke one of the NBA’s unwritten codes: Do NOT compare anyone to Michael Jeffery Jordan.

"Michael Jordan is probably the greatest scorer to play the game," Pippen said on Friday. "But I may go as far as to say LeBron James may be the greatest player to ever play the game because he is so potent offensively that not only can he score at will but he keeps everybody involved.”

If anyone knew this, you’d figure it would be Pippen. As MJ’s wingman, he got a firsthand account of Jordan’s ruthlessness. The man was a cold-blooded killer on the basketball court. Surely, Mr. Jordan will not appreciate one of his guys asserting that LeBron James may be the heir to his throne. Think Michael will just let Pip’s comments slide? Watch his Hall of Fame induction speech again. The man can hold a grudge.

But, really, with a little bit of context, Pippen’s proclamation isn’t that surprising. In what will be a never-ending search for the next MJ, some have pointed at James. But LeBron really is Scottie Pippen 2.0—not because he’s some kind of second banana, but because their games have many similarities. He is Scottie Pippen on steroids. James, like Pippen, is a versatile, lockdown defender with great court vision. Certainly, Pippen appreciates the way LeBron “can dominate the game without scoring.”

Simply, he likes LeBron’s style of play because it’s similar to what he did on the court.

There was also a Rose-y tinge to Pippen’s comments. As a current Bulls broadcaster, Pippen likely was trying to lessen the blow of Chicago’s disappointing series. By touting LeBron’s feats, it creates the narrative that the upstart Bulls were beaten by a dominant possible champion. Right now, Pippen’s loyalties lie with the 2011 Bulls, not the ’91 team. Maybe it’s naive to think Pip was doing a little posturing, but he still works for the organization. He’s gotta keep up the Bulls Way.

Some feel that this may be Pippen’s attempt to give his longtime teammate a little backhanded jab. I seriously doubt it. There professional relationship was symbiotic. Neither would have achieved the things they did without the other one.

In 1993, Scottie said, “I hope [Jordan] leads the league in scoring for the rest of his career. And when it’s all over, I’ll be able to say, ‘I helped him do it. And I played with the greatest player ever.’”

To some, his comments on Friday were sacrilege. How could he compare anyone to MJ? More likely, Pippen was pumping up LeBron because when he watches James he sees himself.

It wouldn’t be too surprising, at least.

NBA Mock Draft--Lottery Version

The ping pong balls were bouncing on Tuesday night, as representatives from the 14 non-playoff teams played the lottery. Sure, it was devised as a way to prevent teams from tanking, but the NBA Draft Lottery has turned into one of the league’s unintentionally funny quirks. It helps make the whole draft process a little more entertaining. The NFL Draft, for my taste at least, takes itself way too seriously. After all, these drafts are just big crapshoots. Funny stuff always seems to happen when the NBA teams are picking, and I’m a sucker for unintentional hilarity. Keeping that in mind, here is my half-serious 2011 NBA Mock Draft (Lottery Version). Cleveland, you’re on the clock.

1) Cleveland (from LA Clippers)—Kyrie Irving, Duke PG
Well, at least Cleveland won something this year. Last summer Cavs owner Dan Gilbert should have said, “I personally guarantee The Cleveland Cavaliers will win the Draft Lottery before the self-titled former ‘King’ wins one.” Everyone would have taken him a little more seriously. The Cavs will cash in their winning lotto ticket and claim Duke’s Kyrie Irving. Ironically, they won the top spot—with the hopes of replacing LeBron—in what appears to be a historically bad draft class. This could be as bad as 2000, which produced a whopping three all-stars. Irving only played 11 games at Duke, so the jury is still out. If he reaches his ceiling, he’ll be a homeless man’s Chris Paul. Cleveland, get ready to “witness” an adequate starting point guard!

2) Minnesota—Derrick Williams, Arizona SF
From the people who brought you Ricky Rubio…Minnesota general manager David Kahn half-joked that the lottery was rigged for a “good storyline.” If the fix was in, the result is pretty damn funny. The former sportswriter turned bumbling GM gets to draft another tweener. Williams, who had an impressive NCAA tournament, thinks he has star potential. Given his actual size and the size of his mouth, he’ll fit in great with Michael Beasley and Anthony Randolph. Poor Kevin Love.

3) Utah (from New Jersey)—Brandon Knight, Kentucky PG
The Jazz traded Deron Williams and replaced him with the competent Devin Harris. Knight, who went to Pine Crest School (Ft. Lauderdale shout out) before starring at Kentucky, will become the heir apparent at point guard. He certainly needs to work on his jumper, but he’s a good athlete and has a knack for hitting big shots. Hopefully, Jerry Sloan will be watching from his tractor.

 Legendary Jazz PF Karl Malone. NRA member. 2006 Father of the Year. Can anyone live up to the Mailman's draft night legacy?

4) Cleveland—Enes Kanter, Kentucky C
A second consecutive Wildcat comes off the board. John Calipari keeps turning his tricks. Kanter, who was ruled ineligible and never suited up for Kentucky, is a mystery. I’ve heard he’s got some game, but it is all hearsay at this point. Thankfully, we’ll get to watch him post up a chair in the next month. If he makes chair look bad, he’ll likely be too tempting for the Cavs to pass up. For what it’s worth, I think that Kanter could turn out to be a fringe all-star at some point.

5) Toronto—Jonas Valanciaus, Lithuania PF
Admittedly, I don’t know crap about the international players that are eligible for the draft. I never do. It seems fitting that a team that already has a Calderon, a Bargnani and a Barbosa would take a Valanciaus. My extensive research (watching a few clips on YouTube) leads me to believe he will be a less-smelly version of Pau Gasol with less low post moves.

6) Washington—Kawhi Leonard, San Diego St. SF
This may be a little high for Leonard, but this is where I’d like to see him go. Now that the Wizards are slowly embracing their Bullets heritage, they need to bring the ‘70s back. Wes Unseld and Elvin Hayes aren’t walking through that door, but Leonard would bring some all-around skill to D.C.

7) Sacramento—Kemba Walker, Connecticut PG
I watched the Kings in person this year and they have issues. DeMarcus Cousins ran the point more than a handful of times. Tyreke Evans, who was coming off of an injury, clearly looked like a 2-guard. Sacramento needs a floor general and Walker could be a good fit. I have high hopes for Kemba’s draft night performance, though. I think he comes out with the wildest suit and gives the best interview.

 Something tells me that Kemba might try to give Jalen Rose a run for his money.

8) Detroit—Jan Vesely, Czech Republic PF
The Pistons take a 6’11’’ athlete that plays in Serbia. Can anyone say Darko?

9) Charlotte—Marcus Morris, Kansas PF
I could totally see MJ taking Jimmer at this point, but that would be no fun. Morris would give the Bobcats a little muscle and versatility in the high post. Marcus is the better pro prospect than his twin brother Markieff. The main question: Can the Morris twins best the Lopez twins on the comedy scale? I’m betting they can’t.

10) Milwaukee—Klay Thompson, Washington St. SG
The Bucks were the worst shooting team in the league this year. With Thompson they would be adding one of the draft’s shooters. Thompson is the son of 1978 No. 1 pick Mychal Thompson.

11) Golden State—Tristan Thompson, Texas PF
The Warriors fired former Hoosier Keith Smart and are still looking for his replacement. The man who lands the job could surely use some defensive help. Thompson is a freak athlete who can block shots. His impressive freshman season gets him into the lottery.

12) Utah—Jimmer Fredette, BYU G
If Jimmer is still on the board and the Jazz don’t take him, the good people of Salt Lake City will riot. They may even start boozing. If Jimmer becomes successful rotation player, he instantly becomes a Mormon god/fan favorite. He will be the kind of Utah celebrity who gets nine wives. While he won’t be able to score like he did in college, I’m totally on board for Jimmer time in SLC.

13) Phoenix—Bismack Biyombo, Congo PF
Bismack Biyombo is a really cool name. I wish I could say more but the guy is a mystery. Nobody knows whether he’s actually 18. There are reports that he might actually be closer to 25. Biyombo could become an explosive shot blocker and an Amare replacement for a team that could use some frontcourt help. Or, with the reported age discrepancy, he may be trying to retire in sunny Phoenix.

14) Houston—Chris Singleton, Florida State SF
The Rockets like to stockpile young assets. The intriguing thing about Singleton is that he actually has a championship level skill. If his foot his healthy, he is a lockdown perimeter defender. For a team that may be looking to replace Shane Battier, Singleton could provide similar defensive tenacity.

Can the Marlins keep it up?

Full Disclosure Alert: I have NOT watched an inning of a Florida Marlins game this season.

When you live in Indiana, you’re more likely to find a guy named Hank riding a John Deere on TV than Josh Johnson. So I warn you that my thoughts are based off of watching SportsCenter highlights and perusing box scores.

Here’s a question for you Fish Fanatics: Can the Marlins continue to compete with the Phillies and Braves?

The Fish tend to follow the same script ever year; they start out with a bang and fizzle as the summer wears on. Given some obvious structural deficiencies (bad bullpens, not enough depth, etc.), they haven’t been able to turn fast starts into bona fide postseason runs.

At the season’s quarter pole, the Marlins are 12-3 in one-run games. There is no way they’re going to keep that pace up. Since the current road trip started, Mike Stanton has started to heat up, hitting three home runs this week. The Marlins need Hanley Ramirez to hit like Hanley Ramirez, though. His early season struggles have been puzzling.

There are certainly reasons to think this will be the season the Marlins break through.

They actually have a bullpen. A really good one, in fact. The pen’s 2.49 ERA is the second-best in the Majors, which is quite the turnaround for a unit that could only be described as ‘head-scratching bad’ the past few seasons. If they can continue to hold onto early-game leads in August, the Fish should continue to keep pace.

For now, they sit just one game behind the NL East-leading Phillies. But if this season is going to bleed into October, Florida is going to need to tighten up the offense a little bit.

You can't spell Heat without H-A-T-E

Over the past week, I conducted a very non-scientific poll to see how people felt about the Miami Heat making it to the Eastern Conference Finals.

The Results:

“I wish a bomb would hit the United Center on Sunday.”

“LeBron James is a f@#%ing wuss. Seriously, he’s a big baby.”

“I think the Heat are pretty damn annoying. How could you root for a team like that? Shouldn’t this feel tainted?”

“I wish Chris Bosh would just realize he’s a figment of James Cameron’s imagination already. I mean the dude’s a true blue avatar.” 

(Funny thing is I only made the last one up. The rest were either directed at me or at the TV at some point this week.)

If I remember one thing about the 2010-2011 NBA season, it will be how people loved to hate the Heat. The non-threatening franchise morphed into the NBA’s answer to the Yankees with a few offseason deals. This was an interesting sports experience for someone who was born and raised in South Florida. If you live in the Midwest (or probably anywhere outside of American Airlines Arena) and you say a few kind words about the Heat, everyone starts looking at you like Darth Vader’s your homeboy. 

Initially, that hate was certainly warranted. The Big Three’s ill-fated “celebration” was a shameless display of egotism. I thought that once they experienced some struggle—and they did experience some tough moments in the past year—that the Big Three haters would soften a bit. It’s clear that’s not the case. 

The Heat celebrated after they eliminated Boston and they were criticized. Too many people, though, didn’t focus on the reverence they saved for the Celts’ Big Three. LeBron alluded that they were the inspiration for the move to South Beach. James has had several moments of striking self-awareness during the second half of the season, but it doesn’t matter. 

It’s too damn fun to hate the Heat. It’s understandable, too.

I just wonder what happens if Miami’s Big Two-and-a-Half wins a championship (or two, or three, or four, or five….sorry). Will public opinion sway or has the past year done too much damage? 

For now, they roll into Chicago as everyone’s favorite villains. Get the boo birds ready.  

 

Starting Five: The NBA Playoffs, Tiger, GUS!

 1)      Just like that, the Celtics championship window has been shut. The Heat’s 98-90 overtime victory was more about Boston’s demise than Miami’s rise. Sure, Miami’s Big Three is proving they will be the driving force for an annual title contender, but the Celtics lost the type of game they normally steal. With the hostile TD Garden crowd urging them on to victory, you expected the Celtics to put the clamps down on the Heat. But these aren’t your older brother’s Celts. Boston needed Kevin Garnett to repeat his 28-point, 18-rebound performance, but his superb play in Game 3 was just an aberration. Pierce’s fine performance was cancelled out by a motivated LeBron James. As the series seems to be reaching a close, it’s clear that Boston is relying on old legs. Rajon Rondo is Boston’s bridge to the future, but his fresh legs were offset by a bum elbow. The Heat will have its day, but it looks like the Celts’ is ending. 

2)      What’s Phil Jackson’s legacy? Judging by Sunday’s postgame press conference, Phil Jackson has coached his last NBA game. He referred to his team as “The Lakers” and commented on “their” future outlook. So what is the 11-time champion’s place in basketball lore? Did Jackson, as some have asserted, only win because he coached the last generation’s most dynamic talents (MJ, Shaq, Kobe)? No. Absolutely not. Any media member who attempts to denigrate Jackson’s résumé is just trying to be a contrarian. With the help of the legendary coach Tex Winter, Jackson implemented “The Triangle” offense in Chicago. But it was his ability to massage egos and manage some of basketball’s most eccentric characters that made him a legend. The Zen Master knew a few Jedi mind tricks. When Jordan retired the first time to play baseball, Jackson didn’t try to get him to stay with the Bulls. Instead, he reminded Michael that he had a gift that people wanted to see. The trust he had built ensured a smooth return 18 months later. He’s definitely in the NBA coaching penthouse with Red Auerbach and Pat Riley. 

3)      Dwight Howard doesn’t understand how the sports media works. Dwight, the Orlando Sentinel is not trying to run you out of town. If you bolted for Los Angeles they would lose readers, clicks and attention. The paper’s journalists, however, should not be cheerleaders. Their job is to provide coverage/analysis of the Orlando Magic. If that means they need to scrutinize next year’s free agency decision, they should cover the hell out of it. Howard needs to understand that Shaq bolted town because he wanted to go to Hollywood. If Dwight wants to prove his loyalty is with the Magic, he should sign an extension right now.

4)       Tiger Woods returns this week at The Players, but don’t expect a big breakthrough. Woods, who fell to No. 8 in the world this week, has never played well at TPC Sawgrass. He only has one win (2001) and has finished outside the top-20 more than any other tournament. Last year, Tiger pulled out after a supposed neck injury. A 2011 turnaround may be in the cards, but don’t look for it this weekend. 

5)      Gus Johnson is leaving CBS for FOX. March just got a little less mad. I think everyone had hoped that CBS would give the Final Four to Gus, but it never happened. So Gus will be taking his trademarked cackle to FOX and to a better NFL slot. No worries, though, you can still see Gus do college basketball games on the Big Ten Network. HAHA!