Fear and loathing in Indianapolis

Just when you think the Dolphins have set the standard for football ineptitude, the Colts go and raise the bar—or lower it, depending on how you look at things.

One thing is for certain, Miami and Indianapolis are the worst teams in the NFL—and it isn’t even close.

There is, of course, reason to rationalize your team’s pitiful existence this season. In the year of Luck, it doesn’t necessarily suck to suck, because this year’s biggest loser could end up being a pretty big winner.

Andrew Luck, who many consider the best college-quarterback prospect since Peyton Manning, could be the biggest thing to hit Lucas Oil since, well, ol’ No.18, himself. 

Pretty convenient year for the Colts to bottom out, right? If that wasn’t the fan base’s mindset before Sunday night’s drubbing in New Orleans, it probably is now. But it’s probably difficult to handle this season’s stark realization.

For a team that seemed in complete control for the last decade, it is now, without Manning, foundationless. Although he’d been an undeniable, consistent force, Peyton’s leadership and dominance created a façade that masked some shoddy craftsmanship.

Remove the wrong piece and everything comes crashing down.

So, yes, Dolfans, your driving partner in the “Suck for Luck” truck has it worse, which seems pretty hard to believe.

Why, exactly?

Well, no matter how the season finishes—and at April’s Draft, for that matter—the rhetoric will change in Miami. Tony Sparano will be fired, a new general manager hired and a total reevaluation of how things are done will take place. Stephen Ross is desperate for a winner, and his failed attempt to lure Jim Harbaugh shows he may know how to pick em.

Landing Luck will help tremendously, but no matter what, hope will spring eternal, especially if a new coach can get individuals to play as a team.

Because of the last decade’s over-reliance on Manning, Indianapolis could be stuck, even if they do end up with the first pick. Sure, Caldwell will probably be gone. But is that enough to make you feel like things will be turned around? Bill Polian, a skilled talent evaluator, needs to be criticized for leaving the cupboard too bare.

Even if Manning had been healthy enough to play, some of last season’s frustrations would have reappeared this season. The Colts constantly preach “Next Man Up,” but because of their lack of the depth, they cannot practice it.

I’d imagine the mentality of a Colts fan, at this point, is similar to what Hunter S. Thompson’s was in 1972, as he sat atop a hill, looking over Las Vegas—minus the acid-induced haze, of course. There’s a feeling that the best times are behind you, and they may have not had much substance, anyway.

The Colts were built like a sand castle; it always seemed indestructible, but all it takes is one wave and…

The narrative changes. Paranoia replaces euphoria quickly, doesn’t it, Indianapolis? Right now, it’s not fun being a Colts fan and things might not turn around for a while.

It’s OK to rationalize, though. This was the right year to stink it up, after all. What if the Colts take Luck, Manning mentors him and there is a seamless transfer of power. Heck, all they need to do is fend off the Dolphins and Rams. Better yet, Peyton could come back at 100 percent, firing all cylinders.

But with a little un-Luck, the Colts could find themselves on a meandering trek through the football desert.

Wouldn’t that suck?